Becoming Your Own Steady Ground

There’s a moment many of us recognize. Life throws us into the middle of our thoughts and emotions like a sudden gust of wind, and before we know it we’re swept downstream in old patterns, stories, and reactions. Therapy at its best gives us a way to return home inside ourselves, even when the world around us feels shaky.

Three approaches often work beautifully together in this “return home”: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, mindfulness, and non duality. Each offers something unique, but they share a common direction—helping us see more clearly, suffer less, and live with greater freedom.

Step One

Notice What’s Happening (Mindfulness)

Start by pausing long enough to become aware of your inner landscape. Not to change it, not to wrestle with it, but simply to see it.

Notice the breath.

Notice the sensations that arise.

Notice the thought stream doing what thought streams do—appearing, changing, dissolving.

Mindfulness teaches that awareness isn’t here to fix you. It’s here to hold what’s present with steadiness. In that steadiness, reactivity loosens.

Step Two

Name the Thought Pattern (CBT)

Once awareness has softened the initial intensity, you can gently identify the thought pattern at play.

Is this catastrophizing?

Mind reading?

An old core belief resurfacing?

A familiar story of not being enough?

You don’t diagnose yourself. You just name what’s happening. Naming the pattern gives you space. It interrupts the illusion that every thought is truth.

Step Three

Return to the Observer (Non Duality)

Here’s where non duality brings in something quietly liberating. It reminds you that the one noticing the thought is not the thought. The awareness behind the thinking is stable, unmoved, and not defined by the pattern appearing within it.

You can ask a simple question:

“Who is aware of this thought?”

You don’t have to find an answer. The question itself shifts you into a deeper point of view—one that is more spacious than the thought or emotion you’re experiencing.

Step Four

Challenge or Reframe (CBT)

From that more spacious view, you now have the clarity to examine the thought.

Is it accurate?

Is it helpful?

What evidence supports or contradicts it?

How might a balanced alternative thought sound?

Reframing isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s recognizing that your first interpretation isn’t the only interpretation.

Step Five

Ground in the Body (Mindfulness)

Patterns tend to settle into the body. When you bring awareness back into your chest, belly, shoulders, or legs, you’re re-anchoring yourself in the present rather than the narrative.

A slow exhale.

Relaxing the jaw.

Placing both feet firmly on the ground.

Dropping attention into the center of the body like a stone settling into a pond.

This interrupts the cycle of mental looping and reminds you that presence is always available.

Step Six

Act with Intention (CBT + Mindfulness)

Once you’re back in your center, choose your next action from clarity rather than reaction.

What move aligns with your values?

What choice supports the version of you you’re becoming?

What small step allows you to stay true to yourself, even if the emotion is still present?

Intentional action becomes the bridge between inner insight and outer transformation.

Step Seven

Rest in Awareness (Non Duality)

When the cycle feels complete, rest again in the simple sense of being. The breath moves. The body sits. Life unfolds. And the awareness that knows all of this offers a quiet freedom that doesn’t depend on the moment being perfect.

This is where non duality points to something tender—a reminder that you’re not separate from what’s happening, nor are you trapped inside it. You are the field in which it all rises and falls.

Using these steps isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about discovering the clarity, steadiness, and compassion already available within you. When CBT, mindfulness, and non duality work together, they create a path that helps you meet your life with honesty and grace.

And in that meeting, something shifts. The storm doesn’t need to stop for you to feel grounded. You become the ground itself.

If you want, I can turn this into an infographic, a handout, or a shorter version for social media.